In Case You Didn't Know...

I don't know if it is because of my time down in Athens, but I have become somewhat of a border-line hippy. For those that do not know, I am pregnant. I am due the 24th, we're having a boy, and we are having a home birth.


I really feel good about this decision, and actually I would be quite disappointed if we weren't able to do it. I feel as though this is an experience that I have been led to and that it is a blessing that I will get to enjoy and look back on and cherish forever.


Now, I am still totally supportive of hospital births (with Todd in the medical field, I understand it's need and benefit) and of epidurals, but if this goes well, I may never birth in a hospital again. I did not find any of my children's births to be unsatisfying or disappointing, I do think it would be hard to not appreciate the moment and those leading up to when your baby is born. But after being more in control of my pregnancy, and comparing it to my previous experiences, I feel that a hospital is too restrictive for me. With each child I did learn to have more of an opinion about how I wanted things to go, and how to vocalize it. But I still do not like how the nurses and doctors are so caught up in completing their tasks that they try to speed things up, like induction or whisking the baby away to get bathed, or can be noisy and still doing procedures while you are holding your baby trying to enjoy his first moments of life. Again, I do understand the doctor's and nurses side, especially as I sit here late at night with Todd off working. As special as labor and delivery are, it is a job and sometimes can become just that. The benefit of a midwife is that they take on much fewer patients, and (at least mine) are focused on allowing you to have the labor and delivery the way you want it, with them as supportive and silent as you want them.


I also just really like the idea of having this amazing experience in the walls of my own home. I do believe the home to be sacred and a refuge from the storm. What better place is there to have your first moments of life? How much more natural does childbirth feel when we don't even have to leave home for it? I am also looking forward to being able to take a shower in my shower and sleep in my own bed afterwards, and not having any nurses telling me that I cannot have my baby sleeping with me. Plus, from a microbiologist standpoint (I know, I am a nerd) home is much cleaner. The bacteria that the baby is going to encounter at birth are going to be the ones that he will be living with, whereas at a hospital it is all foreign and can really be scary.


When I told a friend about my decision, she said, "What, you are the queen of epidurals?" True, I love the epidural, it really is like going to a spa. But, in a weird kind of way, I am excited to feel the pain. I am starting to feel that I've missed out in my experiences of labor by numbing the pain. Even though I have delivered 3 babies, I never really experienced the pain of transition, or felt that feeling that I should really be dead because the pain is so severe but then the next moment have the baby in my arms and the pain is all gone. I feel that maybe there is something to experiencing the pain that allows a woman to feel more like a woman. And really, for me there's something about the connection to the women that have delivered before me, who did it without any medication, sacrificed it all, and were stronger because of it.

Now, for those who know me, know that I do not make big decisions like this on a whim. I knew that in those moments of pain that I would need to be convicted in the cause of home birth. I knew that when I told people of what I was going to do that I needed to be 100% sure of my decision or I would allow my own insecurities change my mind.

The scientist in me researched all that I could about home births. I wanted to know what to expect, what the regulations were, and of course what the safety of it is. I read articles, found studies, talked to some home birthers. And just to let you know, as long as a woman isn't having a high risk pregnancy, home birth is actually just as safe as a hospital, and there are a lot less c-sections (which I feel can rob a woman of experiencing childbirth).

The mother in me needed to know if this was something that was right for me and my family. I prayed, had Todd fast, and I spent a lot of time just pondering about it. I watched some home births on youtube, and at the end, I still felt incredible peace and joy about the decision and really am excited to have this experience.

I do know that it is not for everyone, and really that is what I love about this country is that we get to choose for ourselves what we feel is the best for our own lives. I know that this whole idea sounds crazy, and it really puts me in with a group of people that I never imagined myself in being. For example, when leaving my midwife's house the other day, this is the vehicle of the mother coming in after me:Unfortunately one of the bumper stickers that I love isn't clear, it reads, "Go Naked Pagan Dancing"

I just smiled and thought to myself, "Yep, I have journeyed into a new wilderness". Todd has told me that to fit in I need to put my hair in dreads, quit shaving, and get a tattoo. But actually, my midwife did say that she has found that there isn't just one "type" of women that birth at home. What she says to have found is that the women who choose it are alike in the fact that they like to have control of their lives and tend to do what they want with their life rather than have their life just happen. So maybe I'm not so weird, but maybe decide after I let you know that we will also be having his circumcision performed at home by a Jewish mohel.